Saturday, November 27, 2010

Oh my gawd. Thanksgiving. I'm still full. Why.

This Thanksgiving was extra special for a bitch, it was my Dutch husband's first one! And he was, well, underwhelmed. He couldn't understand why we made 4xs the amount of food, & I gots nothing except for - "It's tradition!!!" I mean, Christmas in Holland, Sinter Klaas has a "helper" called Zwarte Piet (means black Peter) in black face, who got dark from jumping down the chimey for him. Really? Then why does he have an afro? I'm just sayin. Tradition, shmadition!

Oh ma Good. You can't make that up. Back to turkey time. The Dutchy & I cooked with friends for my rents who flew in from Miami. It was tres cute. And if you don't know how to make a turkey, honey please, that's what is fo! That bird didn't have a damn chance. Look how cute our food looked!!

Look how uncute the dishes looked. I was washing pots like I was in prison or some sh*t.

Margot Lietman made homemade maple syrup cupcakes. Um, panties off!

No seriously. She even made the maple leave from something almond and delish. I've got 8 in my fridge, and still eating them!

My mom was in a straight food coma. Tres cute.

Holidays! Let's do it.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

NBC's Shortcuts Film Festival! Say word.

Yes honey, it was time for the annual Shortcuts Film Festival, and it was dope.
Wil Sylvince & Kendra Carter - the "go to" peeps that run the festival did not disappoint. I did warm up while everyone filed in their seats, and it was insane! (in a good way, hello ... )

I'm looking down at the audience and I see Eric La Salle. Of course I hear that song in my head .. "so letcha soooouuuull glow!"

Moving on to the next seat, was Robert Townsend. Would it be weird to pass out head shot & resumes on stage? Don't judge. Craig Robinson hosted the event & had everyone rolling the whole damn time. If you're into film making, you HAVE to submit your materials to Comedy Shortcuts. Stop thinking and starting doing. It's kind of amazing.

Hilarious comedian Karith Foster. Haaay.
Lookin' like a sister girl morning talk show!

I've got no jokes. Just catch phrases.

It's true. It wouldn't ever matter what I share on stage. My deepest, darkest, too real for tv stories, the only thing people would ever remember & quote back to me would be "Haaaaay", "Shhhut up!", or "Start that rumor!". No, but for reals. I've been performing at colleges regularly for the past 3 years, and my most favorite catch phrase out of an hour's worth of material & hundreds of schools? "From the Waist Down." What does it mean? Not a damn thing. Where'd I get it from? I have not damn idea. It just feels good. It's like ketchup, it'll go with any damn thing. Will these four little letters pay my bills? Probably not. But it makes me smile, and as far as I'm concerned, that sh*t is priceless. I remember the first time I did my "From the Waist Down" joke at NACA a couple of years ago. My showcase was fun, and when I was crossing the street, and van of kids yelled - "FROM THE WAIST DOWN!!!!!" I immediately looked at my zipper! My agent was all, "hello b*tch, isn't that your joke?" In that short moment, I felt like Chris Rock, but with back fat & aggressive hair. It was amazing...from the waist down.

I'll post video later. Get into it.

Friday, November 5, 2010

"Time Suck" !!! (Comedy Central Pilot..)

So I'm not one to go around and spread rumors, hello, that's cray cray - okay??
But I AM excited about a project that I wasn't invited to take part in, and I don't mean to tweet my own horn , but BEEP BEEP! If you don't know who the master mind might be - his name is Christian Finnegan - all I'll say is that it's a game show, it's hilarious, and he's responsible for all of it.
Done & done. New year, new body! Haaaay.