Monday, January 17, 2011

Holidazed & Confused.

Yeah, sorry. I'm still blogging about the holidays. I know, I know! But there are certain things I just can't let go, and I certainly can not wait to share this till December. But don't worry Murry, it's not like I still have my Christmas tree still up, or that I keep empty jars of mayonnaise in my fridge, or I'm hoarding cat skeletons on accident. You get the picture...and I've been watching too much A & E. I was home in Miami for Christmas and saw these festive ass nuggets walking around in public. P-U-B-L-I-C. This is a grown damn woman, walking around. She's GROWN!

I spotted this mother/daughter tart combo sporting high, elf socks in the food court. This is going to require some therapy later on - I have a feeling. And it's not gas...for once. You might think it's the same lady. And no, it's not. This is just what you look like from the back when you dress like this. Tell somebody. Tell everybody. Please. Save yo'self.

I caught this adorably delicious Santa's helper food shopping. She was nice enough to let me take her pic, so I'm not going to write anything scathing or judgemental.


Express that holiday, cray cray, high sock, culotte action at home! Like my mom and I do! This my mom getting the table ready for Christmas dinner, awww...ain't she cute? At home? Where no one can see her? And we can celebrate and get down in private?

Now, this is how I spread my Christmas cheer. In the morning, with a cute snowman coffee cup. No camel toe required.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Torcher. Absolute torcher.

Dear Macy's,

Although I'm was really excited & relieved to find affordable spanks in my size, do you have to go selling Godiva f'ing chocolate at the register? I understand the concept of cross promotion, and supply & demand. However, I must let you know, that this is rude, and just mean. I said it.

Miss Buteau

Scarlett Johansson in Drag?

No, for realsies. I was frolicking in the mall, trying to find something to fit over my woman parts for New Years Eve, & I saw this advertisement. Now, I've been to my fair share of drag shows, and I have to say - either this person is a pretty man, or a damn cute butch. But dayuuum - tell me this doesn't look like Scarlett in drag?!

Aww, come on!!! Work. It.